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Thursday, June 26, 2014

For This Child...

In December I had a little grown up tantrum that took the form of a spray painted front door. It was quite a comical adventure that stemmed from the deep seeded need for change.

I know that lots of people struggle with infertility and my story is nothing compared to theirs. In fact one of my dearest friends, Ashley and her husband are on their journey through adoption. They were able to have one beautiful child without a hitch and have been trying to add to their family for six years with no luck. They started the adoption process earlier this year and are crossing their fingers that a baby will soon be nestled in their arms.  Maybe you can help them grow their family. You can learn about them here.

For me, it was only two years. Only seems a relative term. It was a very long two years and every month was so very, very disappointing. Hence the crazy spray paint incident.

Well, a reader named Maria left me big buckets of baby dust in her comments and I can happily say, that I am 24 weeks pregnant as of yesterday.

When that little stick finally showed positive, I ran to my bedside, burst into tears and offered a prayer of thanks to my Heavenly Father.

You see my husband and I decided that this was the last try. We already have a beautiful family and the heartbreak each month was becoming unbearable. We had decided that if we weren't pregnant this month we would cut our losses and be thankful for what we had.

The interesting thing is that four days before that little stick tested positive, another little stick had tested negative. My period had been late and I was sure that this was the time I was pregnant. But then that negative little symbol reared it's ugly head and I knew we were done.

I was sad.

Sad I wasn't pregnant. Sad we were done trying. But we had decided we were done and that was that. Four days later I had still not had my period so I retested.

I have heard that a positive test result can never be wrong. But I have also heard that a negative test result CAN be wrong.

I waited the full minute before I looked at that little stick that seemed to contain so much of my hope. And guess what... I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to keep staring at it. All. Day. Long. Yep. I left it in the bathroom because I had to keep reassuring myself that it was really true.

The little tiny stick showed a little plus sign in it's window.
I was growing a baby.

Pure Joy.

Today at church we were studying about the kind of women that Ruth and Hannah were. A verse of scripture jumped out to me and I gave a silent thank you to my Heavenly Father once again.

The verse read:

Tonight I go to bed with my heart full.
It has been awhile since I have lived in baby land and I am happy to be headed there again.

If  your heart is aching like mine was, I pray that your petition will also be answered.


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